Issue link: http://viewer.e-digitaledition.com/i/460174
FRIENDSHIP in the Digital Age Thanks to social media, we have more "friends" than ever before. But how nurturing are these online connections, and what impact do they have on our face-to-face relationships? Keep Your Friends Close As you work to manage your ever-expanding digital network, remember to take good care of your up- close-and-personal friendships. A few key gestures will remind your friends that you're there when they need you. • Have her back. Keep secrets between the two of you and support your friend's choices. • Celebrate the good times. Babies, houses, promotions and weddings are all occasions that call for excitement. Join in the joy! • Listen with your whole self. Don't interrupt. Make eye contact and offer advice if he or she asks you to. the internet effect While the Internet has made it easier to keep track of people we have met over the years, technology does not magically give us the resources necessary to manage an exponen- tial number of "friendships." Relationships take time and emotional energy—both of which are spread pretty thin when we are always online, tending to virtual friendships. As a result, we may be cheating ourselves out of the benefits of close friends who can reduce stress, offer emotional support during happy and sad occasions, improve self-confidence, and discourage unhealthy behavior. To connect with people who have in-person, close-friend potential, try to unplug. Instead, seek out friends who share your interests and values by attending community events, taking up a new hobby, volunteering or simply taking a walk through your neighborhood. F or more than 20 years, Robin Dunbar, a University of Oxford anthropologist and psychologist, has studied the human ability to make and maintain friendships. How many people do we con- sider to be casual friends? Of those friends, how many would we invite to a dinner party? Of those friends, how many would we feel comfortable calling when we need advice or support? Dunbar found that the numbers have remained relatively consistent throughout human history. Since hunter-gatherer times, 150 has been the estimated number of individuals' casual acquaintances, while 50 is the average number of close friends. Fifteen is the number of sympathetic confidantes, and only five people make up your very closest support group, which usually includes best friends and family. relationships + you // 1 5