Sacred Heart - Inspiring Health

EVERYONE ENJOYS DOING WELL AT SOMETHING THEY WORKED HARD TO ACHIEVE. HOWEVER, PROBLEMS ARISE WHEN WE BECOME PERFECTIONISTS. CHASING PERFECT Rebecca Schalinske, MS, SAC, EAP Specialist, AODA & Mental Health Counselor at the L.E. Phillips-Libertas Treatment Center "We tend to assume, based on what we see on social media, that someone else's life is more organized, more extraordinary, more content and less stressful than ours. What we do not see is the behind the scenes stu‚ that others are also experiencing. What we forget is that for every lovely photo and post, there are many stressful, normal and perhaps ugly moments." "PERFECTIONISM IS A DEFENSE mechanism, a tool to protect ourselves," says Rebecca Schalinske, MS, SAC, EAP Specialist, AODA & Mental Health Counselor at the L.E. Phillips-Libertas Treatment Center. "One researcher described it well when she said that perfectionism has nothing to do with healthy striving to become accomplished. It is a shield we carry and an expectation to perform and please." You may have a problem with perfectionism if you find yourself thinking in black and white—anything less than perfection is a total failure. Another common flaw in perfectionist thinking is catastrophizing, or the idea that if something isn't perfect, horrible consequences will ensue ("If my friends don't think my house is clean enough, they will hate me forever"). Perfectionists also deal in shoulds— their focus is on what they should be doing, instead of what they have already accomplished. THE PITFALLS OF PERFECTION Some perfectionists are unable to complete tasks or put off starting them for fear of not being perfect. Difficulty making decisions—even about something as simple as which cereal to buy at the store—can paralyze perfectionists and cause intense anxiety. People who struggle with the pursuit of perfection may also have a hard time being around someone who they perceive as being more put-together, intelligent or better than they are. The jealousy that develops out of that feeling can poison any chance of having a relationship. This constant anxiety about being perfect is as bad for our health as for our relationships. "Those who seek perfection often burn themselves out," says Courtney Spindler, MS, LPC, Psychotherapist at the L.E. Phillips-Libertas Treatment Center and Sacred Heart Behavioral Health Clinic. "Perfectionists can lose out on the time they could be spending on enjoyable activities with family members and friends. They often experience fluctuations in their moods, which can strain relationships with others." 4 I N S P I R I N G H E A LT H

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