Issue link: https://viewer.e-digitaledition.com/i/148907
Heart A Like a heart is Open and receptive, a forgiving al well-being. central to physical and spiritu R esearchers have found that holding on to vengeful thoughts can lead to high blood pressure, elevated cortisol levels and other dangerous physical symptoms. In fact, a study in the Journal of Behavioral Medicine associates forgiveness with longevity and bearing grudges with shorter life spans. Spiritual teachers, such as Buddha and Jesus, ask followers to forgive. Yet, forgiveness remains hard for many people. Perhaps it may help to remember that forgiveness does not mean forgetting an offense, but replacing vengeful thoughts and actions with thoughts and actions of love and goodwill. are dealing with an abusive partner or a hazardous work environment, get to a place of safety before examining your feelings toward the violent family member or reckless employer. Have a clear idea why you are angry with the person you're struggling to forgive. Are you blaming them for circumstances beyond their control? For example, are you blaming your spouse's good cooking for your ample figure? As much as you can, let go of your grudge. It's all right if you can't completely control your feelings of anger. Try picturing the object of your resentment as an infant or looking at the situation from his or her point of view. If it's safe, perform an openhearted act toward the person in order to give weight to your new attitude. Try an anonymous act of kindness. Realize that forgiveness is a heroic act. By forgiving others, you stop perceiving yourself as a victim of someone else's actions. Instead, you take charge of your life and move beyond rage and grief into compassion and love. In the Victorian language of flowers, purple hyacinths signify a desire for forgiveness. ." Fine, but don't expect to help your heart that way. Research shows that conditional forgiveness actually increases stress levels. Unconditional forgiveness—regardless of whether the offending person is dead, uncooperative or oblivious to our hurt—is the type associated with longer life. "I'l l Still holding a grudge? To find a behavioral health counselor, call TriStar MedLine® at 800-242-5662. 15 relationships + you Flower steps to forgiveness Get away from the immediate threat. If you ges His W han ay s eC e Him When giv r H Fo C O N N E C T //