Issue link: https://viewer.e-digitaledition.com/i/708282
July 28 • 2016 53 instance, coped with tragedy by bak- ing lemon pies. "Pain is energy," Mandell explains, and the energy needs to be chan- neled. • What follows is commemora- tion, which Mandell contends can be a uniquely Jewish concept. The word "remember" is mentioned in the Torah 169 times. It is also a way to build strength and resilience, she says. Mandell refers to studies conduct- ed in the 1990s and early 2000s by Marshall Duke of Emory University, which found that the more children know about their families, the better they tend to do when facing chal- lenges. Working with Dr. Robyn Fivush, Duke in 2001 asked dozens of fami- lies questions about how much they knew about their families' pasts, such as where their grandparents grew up or if anything terrible had ever happened. Children who knew more about their family's history had a stronger sense of control over their lives, higher self-esteem and a strong belief that their families functioned successfully. • The sixth step is consecra- tion — making something holy. For the Mandell family, this came through the establishment of the Koby Mandell Foundation, which today runs the Camp Koby overnight camps for Israeli children who have lost a parent or sibling to terror or tragedy. The five-week experience aims to play a significant role in the recovery and healing process for its campers. • Finally, there's celebration. "Celebration is when you have a deeper sense of what is true in this world," Mandell says. "You are no longer innocent … You have faced real limits, connected more to the unlimited. You know what down is, so you know what up is … Most people think the world to come is the next world. But people who have real trauma and suffering, they know the world to come is also here." When one completes these seven steps — and they can overlap — one has built resilience, Mandell argues. But she does not define "resilience" like the Merriam-Webster diction- ary — an ability to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change. Rather, she frames resil- ience as "reformation" or "transfor- mation." "I am a different person now," she says. "Resilience is when you become greater in whatever you are going to become greater in." ONEWOMAN PLAY Todd Salovey, associate artistic director of the San Diego Repertory Theatre, recently wrote and produced a play (through the Los Angeles Jewish Women's Theatre) based on Mandell's first memoir, The Blessing of a Broken Heart (Toby Press, 2003), which won a National Jewish Book Award in 2004. He says the one-woman show (Mandell is played by actress Lisa Robins), which ended its first run in March but will likely be shown in other theaters outside of California, depicts Sherri Mandell's gentleness and warmth. Salovey — who says he has read everything Mandell has written since she was 12 years old, including her latest book and scores of essays and articles published in various magazines and journals — praises the author's use of language and describes his relationship with her as "life-changing." "Sherri taught me you have to take things that are not happy in life and make meaning. That is part of what saved Sherri and Seth [her hus- band]," Salovey says. Mandell agrees. "In this book," she says, "I am giving people the chance to build resilience." * Koby Mandell Off &ARMINGTON (ILLS s #ORNER OF 'RAND 2IVER (AGGERTY 2OAD !UBURN (ILLS s / 2 MILES SOUTH OF THE 0ALACE OF !UBURN (ILLS 2053710 248.476.0044 2ESTAURANT )TALIAN #UISINE "UY ONE LUNCH OR DINNER ENTR£E AND GET THE SECOND OFF /F EQUAL OR LESSER VALUE Not good with any other coupons. Not good on holidays. One coupon per couple. Up to $30 Expires 7/31/16 OFF TOTAL FOOD BILL Not good with any other coupon. Not good on holidays. One coupon per couple. Up to $30 Expires 7/31/16 "UY WORTH OF GIFT CARDS AND GET A #OMPLIMENTARY GIFT CARD FOR YOURSELF /FF 7INE 7EDNESDAY Kids Eat Free Monday 2101790 CAFÉ RENDEZVOUS Open 6:30am – 3pm 7325 Orchard Lake Road, W. Bloomfi eld, MI 48322 248-737-7233 In the Robins Nest Plaza 248-737-7233 Monday-Friday 20% OFF Total Food Bill With JN Coupon Only. Not valid with any other offer. "For the Best Breakfast in Town!" $2 Off Quart of Soup To Go Reg. $8 With JN Coupon Only. Not valid with any other offer 10% OFF Any Item on our Menu Board With JN Coupon Only. Not valid with any other offer. Buy One Omelette Get 2nd Omelette $3 Off With JN Coupon Only. Not valid with any other offer. Need a Lender You Can Trust? We're Making a Complicated Process SIMPLE Again! Loan Products Available: ÛiÌ>ÊUÊÊUÊ6ÊUÊ,ÕÀ>ÊiÛi«iÌÊ ÕLÊUÊÓäÎÊUÊ ÛiÌ>Ê,i>LÊ>ÃÊ "i/iÊ ÃiÊ ÃÌÀÕVÌÊ>à 33200 Woodward Avenue | Birmingham -ÊÊnnäÈÓx Ilene Lubin: 248-556-6275 -ÊÊ£ÎnxÎ{Î ÕLJëiÀÌ}>}i°VV ÜÜÜ°ÕL°Ã«iÀÌ}>}i°VV FREE Home Buyers Seminar Every Wednesday, 6-7:30pm /RCHARD ,AKE 2D .% CORNER OF -ILE s Food & Spirits Brass Pointe The /PEN $AYS A WEEK FOR LUNCH DINNER 10% OFF TOTAL BILL Excludes tax, tip and beverages. With this ad. Banquet Services not included. Dine in or Carry out. Expires 8/11/16 2111460