Issue link: https://viewer.e-digitaledition.com/i/804156
March 30 • 2017 5 jn for openers When Your City Speaks letters I 'll be the first to admit it. I've had a complicated relationship with Detroit. Perhaps five years in New York has turned me into an urban elit- ist, a city snob. When Meredith and I head into Detroit for brunch or a show, I often catch myself starting sentences with the words, "You know, in New York..." (which she, shockingly, does not find all that endear- ing). I've had a hard time adjusting to the "Detroit vs. Everybody" mentality, and I usually draw a blank when I'm asked what my "hustles" are (evidently in Detroit, one is expected to have at least two). And despite my best efforts, I cannot get myself to refer to this towering city of American success, failure and perseverance as "The D." I am (and I'm not trying to be dramatic or garner sympathy here) an outsider. I didn't grow up eating at Leo's. There has never been any Vernors or Faygo in my fridge. My roots don't spread under the streets of Lafayette or Bagley, and they don't pull their nourishment from the Rouge. Almost one year since arriving, and I still don't feel like a Detroiter. But one recent Monday, I spent all day in the city that has yet to accept me, and we had a very serious talk. We were both reluctant for the first few hours, but when my friend Larry stepped in to mediate, the conversa- tion took a difficult but important turn. Larry Oleinick is the founder and president of Heart 2 Hart Detroit , and he took me along with him on his Downtown route, allow- ing me to hand out hot food, hand warmers and socks to Detroit's homeless men and women who live, work and survive in the city's streets, alleys and abandoned build- ings. It was during these few hours, as the violent wind threw snow into our eyes and the well-below-freezing tem- peratures bit at any exposed skin, that Detroit told me her story. She told me about when she was a struggling rap artist who fell in love with gangster culture until it ruined all the beauty in her life. She told me about her days in Vietnam and how she was never the same after the war ended. She told me about her addic- tion, about how she can't help but spend her money on dope because being sick is hell. She told me that she is black, brown, white and any other color under the sun, and that the only real code is that you look out for your brothers and your sisters. And she told me she had never met me before. That while I was complain- ing about her not noticing me, not let- ting me be a part of her life, she had other things on her plate, things that I wouldn't be able to understand. And then I apologized because I had made her into something she wasn't. And I had come to her without any humility, without any compas- sion, without any understanding. I told her, that like the Israelites who chose to build their golden calf and dream of Egypt rather than put their full trust into their newly formed covenant, I had romanticized my past and in doing so, blurred my present. And she told me that it was OK, that she forgave me because a cov- enant isn't easy. It takes time. So we sat there, Detroit and I. The snow continued to fall and the wind whipped around us. And we looked at one another with a new sense of truth and with a tinge of embarrassment at how raw and vulnerable our conversa- tion had been. I said goodbye to Larry and the crew. I got in my car and headed back to the suburbs; and when I got back to my house that night, I watched the first half of the Pistons/Knicks game being replayed on Fox Sports. And, as my old city took on my new city, I cheered for Detroit, not because she's been through a lot, not because she's strong and resilient, not because her future is limitless. I cheered for her because she's my home. • Yonatan Dahlen is a rabbi at Congregation Shaarey Zedek in Southfield. Parental Alienation Is Child Abuse Thank you for your article on parental alienation. I have been dealing with this for years. Your article is a public service as it is helping to educate our community about this ugly, unique diabolical malaise that affects our children. Parental alienation is a form of emotional child abuse. In the U.S. alone, 220,000 deal with it. I hope that the entire community will move toward helping to educate people about parental alienation. Help is out there. Contact your state representa- tive, congressman or our senators as they, too, will help. Barry Canner, Farmington Hills Defeat BDS With Israel Products Anti-Israel/anti-Zionism attitudes have turned into malicious acts of anti-Semitism. There is one StandWithUs strategy all of us can use to strengthen Israel's image. Add a variety of Israeli products to your Passover and Shavuot shopping lists to help counter the Boycott, Divestment and Sanctions (BDS) movement's determination to destroy Israel's economy. We can help strengthen Israel with our purchasing power. Plan to acquire Israeli gifts for friends, family mem- bers and yourself. Consider buying Israeli gifts for non-Jewish friends during their holidays as one positive way to introduce them to Israel. Locate online and local vendors that stock Israel's quality products by opening the Buy Israeli Goods (B.I.G.) website, www.buyisraeligoods.org, to search the product categories on the Michigan webpage. Friends and family across the U.S. can locate their city or state on the B.I.G. website and enjoy strengthening Israel's economy, too. Barbara Moretsky, Honorary Chair StandWithUs Michigan views Rabbi Yonatan Dahlen Rabbi Dan Horwitz of The Well was named an "inspiring spiritual startup leader" by the Open Dor Project, one of only four chosen. He will receive multi-year fund- ing, training and the support of a learning community of spiritual and entrepreneurial peers. The Open Dor Project's mis- sion is to ignite and accelerate entrepreneurial Jewish clergy to create and grow independent, welcoming and sustainable spiri- tual communities that inspire people to live vibrant Jewish lives. Four months ago, the Open Dor Project put out a call look- ing for emerging Jewish spiri- tual leaders and communities. "As a new ini- tiative focused exclusively on supporting spiritual startup leaders and their communities, we didn't know what we would find out there," leaders said. The other rabbis are from Chicago, Brooklyn and Berkeley, Calif. The Well is an inclusive Jewish community-building, education and spirituality outreach initia- tive geared to young adults and those who haven't connected with traditional institutions in Metro Detroit. Its belief is that Jewish community, ethics, values and spirituality can and should be directly applicable to our lives. "We are humbled and excited to have been selected," said Horwitz. "We cannot adequately express our thanks to the many volunteers, community members and donors who have brought us to this point, and we cannot wait for what lies ahead. "The investment in our work will help us build our organi- zational infrastructure, more broadly develop our local donor base, further enhance our local impact, and provide us with the opportunity to serve as thought partners with other innovative upstart community-building endeavors throughout the Jewish world and beyond." • For more about The Well, go to meety- ouatthewell.org. Horwitz Chosen By Open Dor For Funding, Training Rabbi Dan Horwitz