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YEARBOOK Gown & Cap 2017 All cap and gown submission MUST go through the website. If you have any questions, call Jackie Headapohl, Editor, at (248) 351-5110. The Jewish News will honor all Jewish students who are graduating this spring from Michigan high schools in our Cap & Gown Yearbook 2017. The Yearbook will be published in our May 25 issue. Go online to submit your free listings to: www.thejewishnews.com/contact/cap-and- gown/free-listing/ Free Listing Submission Deadline: May 8, 2017 Debra Darvick Dear Debra 22 March 30 • 2017 jn family jews d in the S end your questions to deardebra@ renmedia.us or look for an anonymous question submis- sion form on Debra's online column at www. thejewishnews.com. DEAR DEBRA, My husband and I have just returned from a visit to my sister's home out of state. I love my sister, and we enjoy spending time with her. The problem is her insistence that we stay with her, which makes for a stressful visit. She plans a full social calendar for our entire stay. By the end of our trip, I needed vacation to recuperate from my vacation. Please don't suggest that we stay elsewhere. This would hurt her feelings greatly. Sister is already talking about next year's visit. I've kept it light and vague. What else can I do? — Worn Out by Welcome DEAR WORN OUT, While Judaism places high value on the concept of hachnasat orchim, or welcoming guests into one's home, it's not always a good fit. I'll take you at your word that staying nearby isn't the solution because that's exactly what I would suggest. Instead of light and vague, go for loving and firm. You didn't say how long your visit was but, next time, invoke the fish rule and stay no more than three days (OK, four, if she lives on the West Coast). As soon as sister shares next year's social calen- dar, speak up! Say something like, "That sounds great. Let's build in some rest time, too. I want to be able to enjoy it all." If you get there and the dance card is full, go back to loving and firm and respond with, "Oh, that all sounds great. I'm still going to need some down time each day. Which friends could you double up with others so that husband and I have time to recharge?" If you are too afraid that even this might hurt her feelings, brace yourself and know that you can get through anything for three or four days. Start right now planning that post-vacation vacation. DEAR DEBRA, My daughter bought my granddaughter an amber "teething neck- lace" to help with teething pain. Supposedly, the oil in the beads controls pain. I'm terrified. The baby could choke on the beads. The necklace could strangle her. I'm pretty good about holding my own counsel and letting her raise her daughter as is her right and responsibility. But this just seems like new-age silliness at best and outright dangerous at worst. — Biting My Tongue DEAR BITING, A beaded necklace on a teething-age child? Slap me upside the head with a squeeze tube of organic kale. I'm with you; this is an invitation to disaster. Tired Vacationer continued on page 24