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30150 Telegraph, Suite 444 Bingham Farms, MI 48025 Ask Attorney Ken Gross about… Your Financial Issues Don't Make this Mistake! Your Legal Issues THAV GROSS has been solving its clients' business, tax and fi nancial problems since 1982. Be sure to tune in to the Law and Reality – Sunday mornings at 11 AM on TV20. thavgross.com lawandreality.com One thing leads to another and before you know it, you have $40,000 of credit card debt. You're not happy about it, but you say to yourself, "I can handle it. The minimum payments are only $1, 000/month and each month I'm paying $500 extra so it will go away." The problem is that it does not go away! When you pay the $1, 500 every month, you leave yourself cash short; so when you need to purchase something, you charge it! The result – the balances don't go down – if fact they continue to creep up until you've tapped out your available credit. If the cards are at 18% interest, you're paying $7, 200 per year in interest. Over 20 years = that's $144,000 toward your retirement that you've forever lost – plus the interest you would have earned on that money while you were saving it. Don't Make this Mistake. You need to get rid of the credit card debt – and the sooner you do it, the sooner you begin saving the $1, 500 per month – for every month going forward. Call us, we'll show you how it's done. O ne day in October, I woke up to learn that much of Oakland County, including a large part of Bloomfield Township (where we live), was under a boil water advisory due to the bursting of a water main the prior evening. I went into my kitchen to find the largest pot we own and filled it with water. I realized I couldn't brush my teeth until the pot had boiled and wondered whether brushing my teeth the night before (before knowing about the advisory) harmed me in any way. As I emptied the hot coffee pot to remake it with boiled water, I worried about the cup of coffee my husband had taken from the pot earlier that morning. I wasn't sure what to do with the dishes in the dishwasher or whether I could safely take a shower or even wash my hands. After texting my husband (already at work) to make sure he knew about all of this, he let me know that we were actually outside the boundar- ies of the affected area. The relief I felt was palpable, as was the sense of gratitude for having been spared! I hopped into my car, arriving at work significantly later than expected. The irony of this story is that at the time of the water main break, I was attending an event hosted by Detroit Jews for Justice and Temple Kol Ami called, "The Public Health Impact of the Regional Water Crisis." The intersectionality between the more than 80,000 Detroit households whose water has been shut off since 2014 and suburban residents of Oakland County could not have been more dramatically revealed. (Notice I haven't even mentioned the on-going travesty in Flint, where so many citi- zens have yet to feel anything near the sense of relief I felt knowing that neither our pipes nor our bodies had been tainted by toxic water.) Aging infrastructure has advanced from a looming to a present problem. December 7 • 2017 5 jn for openers Vinyl Memories I trust you had a great Thanksgiving. I'm still de-bloating from overindulging in stuffing made with Dakota Bread challah that by the end of my third helping made me look like I was in my third trimester. In what I hope will become a new holiday tradition, we pulled out a record player and spun my old albums that we found boxed up in the most inaccessible to reach, darkest, spider-webbish corner of our storage room. It was a treat to see the look on the "youngins'" faces as they listened in amazement to the sounds emanating from the wax disks, especially when scratches repeated lyrics off my Sergeant Pepper's Lonely, Sergeant Pepper's Lonely, Sergeant Pepper's Lonely (lift needle, gently place back down) Hearts Club Band album. To say my collection is eclectic would be a vast understatement. Besides the Beatles, we flipped through the Supremes, Moody Blues, Crosby, Stills and Nash, Streisand and Sinatra albums that co-mingled with Alvin and the Chipmunks, Captain Kangaroo's Songs and Dances, and Detroit Tiger Denny McLain playing his Hammond Organ. Some of my early comedic influ- ences were represented. My George Carlin album showed that I was at least "somewhat" hip at one point in my life. That status was downgraded when I introduced my kids to my "Jose Jimenez Talks to Teenagers" album, the character made famous by comedian Bill Dana. Dana, born William Szathmary and of Hungarian Jewish descent, made a career out of the affable Hispanic gentleman he created and introduced on the Steve Allen Show in 1959. Eleven years later, out of respect to Mexican-Americans, he famously killed off Jose in a mock funeral as a new era of political correctness was slowly coming to the fore of our social consciousness. Speaking of politics — another of my comedy albums that awakened from its decades long hibernation — was a parody that first inspired me to do impressions. It was hysterical the day it was recorded on Oct. 22, 1962, but a historical relic exactly 13 months to the day after it was pro- duced. The album: The First Family featuring John F. Kennedy imperson- ator Vaughn Meader. At the time, it was the fastest-sell- ing record in the history of the indus- try; a million copies sold per week in its first six weeks. The album won the Grammy Award for Album of the Year in 1963 beating out Tony Bennett's I Left My Heart in San Francisco. But then our hearts were broken on Nov. 22 with the assassination of JFK. As our country mourned, Meader's career went from riches to rags. A fascinating footnote: Meader's The First Family was recorded before a live studio audience who had no idea that at the exact same time President Kennedy was delivering his haunt- ing Cuban Missile Crisis address to the nation. It has often been said that tragedy plus time is comedy. On Oct. 22, 1962 the two nearly occurred simultaneously. OK, hold on. I can't end my last column of 2017 on such a dour note. There's got to be something uplifting I can leave you with — something you can look forward to in the coming new year. I've got it! There's a new reality show debuting this January on WE TV ! From the producers of 90 Day Fiancé comes Love After Lockup, fea- turing men and women who are in love and were both in prison at one time. Ain't that beautiful? On second thought, I think I'd rather listen to my Alvin and the Chipmunks album on a loop. Did you hear that Alvin? Alvin? Alllllllllviiiiiiiiin! Happy, healthy New Year, everyone! • Alan Muskovitz is a writer, voice-over/acting talent, speaker, emcee and guest host on the Mitch Album Show on WJR AM 760. Visit his website at laughwithbigal.com and "Like" Al on Facebook. views Alan Muskovitz Lori Lutz community view Without Water, ere Is No Life continued on page 8