Detroit Jewish News

December 21, 2017

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Lois Haron Allied Member ASID 248.851.6989 Complete kitchen and bathroom remodeling as well as furniture design and installations including granite, wood and other materials. DESIGNS IN DECORATOR WOOD & LAMINATES, LTD. It Doesn't Have To Cost A Fortune… Only Look Like It! (248) 585-2600 Family owned and operated since 1900 Over 100,000 satisfi ed customers since 1900 Unhappy with Your Lawn Service? Purchase Our Nature Safe Lawn Program! Prepay Before December 31, 2017 and Receive A Lawn Aeration Free ($150.00 Value). Call Now for a Free Lawn Survey and Estimate ($69.00 Value). 42 December 21 • 2017 jn B ereshit is probably the bibli- cal book most read and most commented on by people today. I would like to suggest that one of the main reasons for this is its emphasis on dysfunctional sibling relationships, something most of us continue to have personal experi- ence with some 3,000 years later. The story of Joseph and his evolv- ing relationship with his brothers is the most articu- lated text on this topic in the entire book. Two weeks ago, in Parshat Vayeshev, the seeds of ani- mosity and distrust were sown. Joseph, his father's favorite son, not only told grandiose stories of his expected dominance within the family to his brothers, but he eagerly tattled to his father about their various misdeeds. Jacob, in turn, encouraged Joseph to spy on his brothers' activi- ties. The 10 brothers, as a result, fulfilled every big brother or sister's dream: They sold Joseph to a band of wandering traders. Last week, in Parshat Mikketz, Joseph, who had been both a slave and a prisoner, experienced a change of fortune. He was now the grand vizier of all of Egypt. Why did this second most powerful man in the entire Middle East not send a letter home, telling his father he was OK? Why did he not appoint envoys to check on the welfare of his father? Instead, he disowned his family. Finally, after two decades, Joseph, the ruler, "coincidentally" meets his brothers, the supplicants. He rec- ognizes them, but they do not rec- ognize him. What does Joseph do? Does he greet his brothers with open arms? Does he confront them and chastise them for old wounds? No. He tests/punishes them for the mis- deeds of the past, asks if his father is still alive and cries in private. This week we learn that Joseph finally relents (and cries) and tells them his true identity. The brothers are wary: What is going to happen next? What is he going to do to us now? As the story progresses, we learn that the recon- ciliation is real. Joseph is reunited with his father. He helps his brothers to resettle in Goshen, which has ample food and water. Despite the limitations of distance and the ongoing hurt of past misdeeds, the sons of Jacob are able come to terms with the past and become a whole family — not without problems — but a family again. Perhaps the unifying theme of Bereshit is not dysfunction and sib- ling rivalry but the ability of family members to reconcile even after years of strife. With the exception of Cain, all the siblings of Genesis: Isaac and Ishmael, Jacob and Esau, Rachel and Leah, and Joseph and his broth- ers, eventually overcome the pain of the hurts of the past and learn to get along. A message for all of us. In the next book, Shemot (Exodus), the next generation seems to have learned lessons from the experi- ences of their ancestors. We read the story of three siblings: Moses, Aaron and Miriam, who function as a cooperative and supportive unit (with some minor setbacks over 40 years) to accomplish what is ulti- mately best for their family and their people. • Mitch Parker is the rabbi at B'nai Israel Synagogue in West Bloomfield. Rabbi Mitch Parker The Dysfunctional Family spirit torah portion Parshat Vayigash: Genesis 44:18-47:27; Ezekiel 37:15-37:28.

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