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14 LOCAL s t d o m .c o m Ask HEARTFELT RELATIONSHIPS Think of the times you have given or received a caring touch from a loved one. How did you feel? Why are we attracted to caring touch? What does it do for us to give and receive caring touch? Having a sense of belonging and knowing you have a "safe" place to return to when the world gets tough have very therapeutic effects on our minds and bodies. TOUCH HEALS Emotional intimacy and caring touch have many therapeutic benefits that have been demonstrated in research: · Holding hands, hugging and cuddling with your partner have been shown to reduce blood pressure, increase oxytocin (sometimes called the "bonding hormone"), decrease stress hormones and improve one's sense of well-being. · According to research at San Diego State University, women in satisfying marriages had less atherosclerosis (buildup in the arteries) and showed less rapid progression of carotid artery disease than women in unsatisfying marriages. · Researchers at Yale University documented that individuals who felt loved and supported had less coronary artery disease. · Body-focused therapies using massage techniques have helped some people with post-traumatic stress disorder to heal from their traumatic experience. RELATIONSHIPS NEED TOUCH Relationships in which little affection is shown have little to no positive effect on mind and body indicators of stress and well-being. They often become another stressor. If you are in a relationship that has experienced caring touch in the past but somehow has faded into a more distant and less expressive relationship, work on your attitude toward your partner by behaving the way you wish you felt. This is not "fake it 'til you make it." You must genuinely want to feel more positively toward your partner and express that through caring touch and attention. When you felt positive about him or her, how was your caring touch expressed? Consider behaving in similar ways again. Rekindling or maintaining a loving relationship with the aid of caring touch could be one of the best investments you will ever make. Express yourself verbally and, by all means, express yourself in the universal language of caring touch. Happy Valentine's Day! Have a question for Bill? Contact him at askbill@stdom.com. Bill has a master's degree in counseling psychology from the University of Southern Mississippi and has been a licensed professional counselor since 1987. He has 23 years of individual and relational counseling experience and serves as an adjunct instructor in counseling psychology at Mississippi College. He has been a reserve deputy for 10 years with the Madison County Sheriff's Office and is a ruling elder at Grace Chapel Evangelical Presbyterian Church. He adores his wife of 31 years and their two grown children.