Sacred Heart - Inspiring Health

BEING A TEENAGER has never been easy. Young men and women are constantly working to navigate the world around them, making decisions about how they want to project themselves to their peers, and sometimes trying too hard to fit into the crowd. It is a time of life when teens crave independence, and many parents are content to sit back and let teenagers have their own space, a tactic that may make teens more likely to share key information about life. But sometimes communication shuts down, leaving teens feeling alone and parents feeling out of control. "A breakdown of communica- tion may stem from a variety of circumstances, such as previous interactions or negative responses that make teenagers hesitant or reluctant to communicate the details of their lives," says Jeni Gronemus, MS, LPC, Psychotherapist with HSHS Sacred Heart Behavioral Health. "But effective communication is critical because it helps teens trust and rely on their parents and themselves. The interactions between parents and children lay the groundwork for all future relationships." THEY ARE LISTENING Even if your teen seems disinterested and not engaged in conversations about life, research shows he is paying close attention to you and looking to you to offer guidance, whether or not it is requested. According to the Office of Adolescent Health, 38 percent of teenagers report that their perspectives on key issues such as sex are primarily influenced by parental guidance. So it is important to tune into what you are saying to your teenager, paying close attention to how you choose to deliver meaningful messages. "Practice a relaxed posture, speak in a matter-of-fact tone, and avoid lecturing," Gronemus says. "Take time to make eye contact, listen, and be interested in what your child is saying. This sets the tone for a pattern of effective communication." Words aren't the only components that are important when communicating with teens. Gronemus adds that simply spending time together playing catch or watching movies encourages two-way communications. Shifting the focus away from a question-answer type grill session may help your child be honest and open. "Instead of offering unsolicited advice, give your kids their space and let them know you believe they are capable of making good decisions," Gronemus says. "But still be sure to ask them about their day every day. These steps will make it more likely that your kids will come to you when they need your help." KEYS TO COMMUNICATING WITH YOUR TEENAGER TALKING WITH YOUR TEENAGER MAY NOT ALWAYS BE EASY, BUT COMMUNICATING EFFECTIVELY DURING THESE FORMATIVE YEARS IS CRITICAL. "Kids, whether they are 5 or 15, crave and need good relationships with their parents." —Jeni Gronemus, MS, LPC, Psychotherapist with HSHS Sacred Heart Behavioral Health 4 I N S P I R I N G H E A LT H

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