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viewpoints » S e n d l e t t e r s t o : l e t t e r s @ t h e j e w i s h n e w s . c o m 8 May 26 • 2016 M ost children I grew up with had, say, a Grandma Goldberg and a Grandma Rabinowitz. But my sisters and I had grandmothers who were named for the streets they lived on. There was Grandma on Tuxedo and there was Grandma on Webb. We couldn't call them by their first or last names. They both were Grandma Prady. And both were Grandma Julia. "No, dear," a teacher would say, "what we need is your mother's name before she was married. Now here's a fresh card, dear. Start over." "It was Mildred Prady," I'd say. "Well, for two people named Prady to meet and marry, they'd have to be — uh — related. Uh." "They're cousins," I'd say. "Well, not, not first cousins," the teacher might say, gasping. "First cousins," I'd say. "Uh. Oh." Our grandfathers, husbands of the Julias, were brothers. Mother's father, Reuben. Dad's father, Joseph. Both — along with their siblings Samuel, Joshua, Rachel and others unknown to us — were the late- 19th century offspring of David Preide of Riga, Latvia, and wife No. 1 or wife No. 2, or some of each. Family members, previously with clear status as aunt or uncle or cousin, now had to fathom newly con- structed relationships because of the mar- riage. Mildred's and Calvin's siblings, who'd always been cousins to each other, now were in-laws. Confusing? Take Cousin Delores Prady, for example, daughter of dad's brother Jack and his wife, Sara. That originally would make Delores niece to dad and first cousin once-removed to mother prior to the mar- riage and some level of cousin to mother's parents, right? So now does dad become cousin to Delores? Apparently not. As the pegs are moved about on some giant chart somewhere, dad doesn't gain cousin rank with Delores but holds as uncle while mother moves on from cousin to become Delores' aunt. OK, so mother is Delores' aunt. Do mother's parents, who had been Delores' cousins, become her great- aunt and great-uncle? Or are they still cousins? Well, consider Delores' own uncertainty. Her recently found thank-you note for a wedding shower gift from mother's parents was not addressed to "Dear Cousins Julia and Reuben" nor to "Dear Aunt Julia and Uncle Reuben" but noncommittally to "Dear Mr. and Mrs. Prady." Bans of cousin-marriage in some states rarely were enforced, if ever. But the roman- tic tale of our parents' union was that they weren't allowed to marry in Michigan so they crossed the Detroit River to Windsor, Ontario, and were mar- ried by a Catholic priest who was said to be captivated by the young lovers standing at his church door and was thus willing to defy whatever prohibitions there might be to their marrying and heading off for their Niagara Falls honeymoon. A tender and dreamy story, indeed, that my sisters and I long delighted in. But it fizzled the day I found their mar- riage license — signed somewhere in Detroit on June 8, 1927, by Rabbi Aaron M. Ashivsky and witnessed by J. Rachowsky and S. Chinitz. As for my sisters, Audrey and Barbara, and me, we were cousins to each other and cousins to each of our parents. We even were cousins to ourselves. I'm my own cousin. I might also be my own uncle. Found along with my parents' marriage license was mother's birth cer- tificate. It turns out that Mildred wasn't really Mildred. She was Minnie. Her mother, always recog- nized as one of the family Julias, actually was Jennie. I'll just tuck this name stuff away, along with wondering why mother's brother Eli called himself Harry and why dad's brother Henry called himself Eli. Well, it's all relative. * nostalgia Cousin Mother And Cousin Dad Cousins Calvin Prady, 24, and Mildred Prady, 23, who fell in love as teenagers, are seen here on their 1927 Niagara Falls honeymoon. Norman Prady David Preide upon this community as they have taught us by their example, that each life is precious, and we must continue to provide for those in need, regardless of age or financial ability to provide for themselves. May this community continue to be blessed. David M. Techner, founding president, Jewish Hospice and Chaplaincy Network West Bloomfield Rabbi Krakoff Is A Great Addition What a wonderful addition Rabbi Krakoff is to an already-great team at Jewish Hospice and Chaplaincy Network. Rabbi E.B. Freedman, through his leadership, has helped to build the JHCN into one of the most vital institutions in our Jewish com- munity. The subject of death and dying is a difficult one, and the chaplains of JHCN provide a benefit to the fami- lies of our community that most of us cannot properly quantify. Until you are in need of their help and sup- port, they are probably not on your radar screen. When you do engage them, you wonder how you could have made it through the challenges without them. Jeffrey M. Garden West BLoomfield Israel Walk A Hit Despite Weather The Walk for Israel was a major suc- cess despite the cold, wind and snow on Sunday, May 15. (See page 14.) We thank AIPAC for its support by bringing in Gil Hoffman, the chief political correspondent and analyst for the Jerusalem Post, for his valuable insight. He who spoke to a filled main sanctuary at Temple Shir Shalom. Programming before the Walk featured a free kosher lunch; Israeli singing and dancing; singing of the national anthem and "Hatikvah," led by Cantor Penny Steyer, Cantor Rachel Gottlieb Kalmowitz and Hazzan Daniel Gross; prayers for Israel by Rabbis Michael Moskowitz, Aaron Bergman and Daniel Schwartz. We appreciate Congresswoman Brenda Lawrence and Sen. Gary Peters for taking time to support the Walk and speak for Israel. Both have been regular participants for many years. Fortunately, the weather cleared for us and Israel as the Walk filled both sides of Orchard Lake Road with over 1,500 supporters of Israel proudly wav- ing their American and Israeli flags. The members of the Walk for Israel team applaud and thank chairman Andre Douville for his leadership, drive and love for Israel that made the Walk a success. An additional thank you to the clergy and board of directors of Temple Shir Shalom for their generous support by providing the use of the temple facilities and staff for the Walk. Ed Kohl Walk for Israel Task Force member West Bloomfield Michigan Radio Should Air Greeting As a longtime enthusiastic supporter of Michigan Radio, I would like to register my consternation at the sta- tion's refusal to air Hannan and Lisa Lis' day sponsorship message in cel- ebration of Yom HaAtzmaut ("Happy Birthday, Israel?" May 19, page 16). I think it was seriously mis- guided of the station to label "Happy Birthday, Israel!" as anything other than a warm, personal greeting marking a celebratory day. Nixing the message as being "political" or "controversial" makes no sense at all — except to those who believe that the modern State of Israel has no right to exist. The act of refusing to air the greet- ing strikes me as being more political and controversial than the greeting itself. I urge the station management to rethink this and offer the Lis fam- ily the opportunity to run their greet- ing as originally proposed. Nancy F. Kaplan West Bloomfield Letters to the Editor: We prefer letters that relate to articles in the Jewish News. We reserve the right to edit or reject letters. Brevity is encour- aged. Letters published will include the name and city of residence of the writer. Letters submitted must contain the name, address, title of the writer (if applicable) and a daytime phone number. We prefer emailed letters. Please email to letters@ thejewishnews.com. (Letters sent by U.S. Postal Service must be hand-signed and mailed to the Jewish News, 29200 Northwestern Hwy., Suite 110, Southfield, MI 48034.) continued from page 6 letters